Guest Post - Mental health wellness tips for people in quarantine
Staying home for long periods of time, the change in routine and relationship dynamics can have a stressful effect on even the calmest of people. The brilliant Sarah from Balanced State shares with us her top tips for keeping sane during the quarantine.
On March 16th everything changed. The basic freedoms we have grown up with, to decide when we can go outside, go to the shops, where we can exercise, even down to what food and drink are available to us to buy, was removed. Covid-19 had arrived in the UK and we had to respond. Immediately, the UK Government announced that social distancing would be applicable to everyone, regardless of whether you were experiencing Covid-19 symptoms and other illnesses.
Consequently, we find ourselves, as part of a global community, in quarantine, staying in our homes all day, every day for the foreseeable future, allowed out for only four specific reasons, (exercise, work - but only if you can’t work from home, shopping for essentials or collecting prescription) unless we’re an essential key worker - which many of us are not. We’re having to adapt to our ‘new normal’, likely taking it day by day.
This is unlike anything many of us will have experienced before and can leave us feeling confused, frightened, anxious or overwhelmed. A lot of us will be working from home, missing our daily social interactions with colleagues, the bus driver, the barista or even ‘joe public’. The human brain is conditioned to worry about the unknown, so if you can, by refocusing on things you can control and make changes and adaptations to what you can’t control you are taking positive steps to safeguard your mental health. Below is a list of some tips that you can implement to try and help you and your family and friends get through this surreal of times. Some may be more useful than others, which is fine. We’re all trying to find our feet and work out what is going to help us manage this time.
Stick to a routine
Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, write a schedule that is varied and includes time for work as well as self-care.
Dress for the social life you want, not the social life you have
Get showered and dressed in comfortable clothes, wash your face, brush your teeth. Take the time for a bath, or even a facial if you can. Wearing bright colours can really enhance our moods.
Get out at least once a day, for at least thirty minutes
The sun has started to make an appearance again but if you are concerned about contact, try first thing in the morning or later in the evening and less travelled roads. If you are high risk or living with those who are high risk, open the windows and blast the fan. It is amazing how much fresh air can do for spirits.
Find some time to move each day, again daily for at least thirty minutes
If you don’t feel comfortable going outside, there are many YouTube videos that offer free movement classes and if all else fails, turn on the music and have a dance party to release those happy hormones.
Reach out to others
There are so many ways to communicate with technology, Zoom, FaceTime, Skype, old fashioned phone calls and texting. Everyone is in this together so you can connect with other people to seek and provide mutual support. Don’t forget to do this for your children as well. Set up virtual playdates with friends daily via FaceTime, Facebook Messenger for kids, WhatsApp, Zoom etc - your children miss their friends too.
Stay hydrated and eat well
Stress and eating often don’t mix well and we find ourselves overindulging, forgetting to eat and/or avoiding food. Drink plenty of water, eat some good and nutritious foods. If you can challenge yourself to learn how to cook something new. Get experimenting in the kitchen.
Develop a self-care toolkit
This will look different for everyone. A lot of successful self-care strategies involve a sensory component (seven senses: touch, taste, sight, hearing, smell, vestibular (movement) and proprioceptive (comforting pressure). An idea for each: a soft blanket or stuff animal, hot chocolate drink, photos of happy memories eg holidays or parties and friends, favourite music, lavender oil, a rocking chair, a weighted blanket. A journal, much-loved book, or colouring book is wonderful to take you away from reality, bubbles to blow or blowing watercolour on paper through a straw are visually appealing as well as work on the controlled breath. Chewing gum, fizzy drinks, ice lollies or ice packs are good for anxiety regulation. For children, it is great to help them create a self-regulation comfort box (eg shoebox they can decorate) that they can use when overwhelmed. Getting your children to make their own boxes will make them feel involved and in control of a situation that is so out of their control. They are also more likely to help the child if the contents have been chosen by them.
Spend extra time playing with children
Children will rarely communicate how they are feeling but will often make a bid for attention and communication through play. Don’t be surprised to see therapeutic themes of illness, doctor visits and isolation in your gameplay. Understand that play is cathartic and helps children to process their world and problem solve and there’s a lot they are seeing and experiencing in the now.
Give everyone the benefit of the doubt and a wide berth
Cabin fever is likely to set in after a time which can make us irritable and bring out the worst in us. We all have moments when we are not at our best in ‘normal’ times, so imagine the extra stress on us in the current situation. Try to remember to take a breath and practise controlled breathing in times of arguments or potential arguments. Leave the room if needed. Give the benefit of the doubt where appropriate and not hold grudges or continue disagreements. We are all trying our best.
Everyone to have their private space
Space is so important and it may not be a lot where you are but if possible, try and create a separate space for work and for relaxation. For children, help them identify a place where they can go to relax when feeling stressed. Make the space cosy with blankets, pillows, cushions and beanbags. It is good to know that even when we are on top of each other, we have our own special place to go to be alone. Let others know that it is your private space so when you are there you aren’t to be disturbed.
Expect behavioural issues in children and respond appropriately
We are all struggling with disruption in routine. Many adults and children rely on and respond well to routines to make them feel safe and prepared. Anxiety, fears, nightmares, meltdowns and difficulty sleeping, or separation anxiety will increase, with children testing the boundaries and meltdowns. Do not introduce major behavioural plans or consequences currently - hold stable and focus on emotional connection.
Focus on safety and attachment
We are going to be living for a bit with unprecedented demand for meeting all work deadlines, home-schooling children, running a sterile household and making a whole lot of entertainment in confinement. we can get wrapped up in meeting expectations in all domains but we must remember that these are scary and unpredictable times for children. Focus on strengthening the connection through time spent following their lead, through physical touch, play, therapeutic books and via verbal reassurances that you will be there for them in this time.
Lower expectations and practice radical self-acceptance
We are doing too many things at this moment under fear and stress which may result in mistakes. This is OK. Practice “radical self-acceptance: accept everything about yourself, your current situation and your life, without question, blame or pushback. You cannot fail at this as there is no precedent or map to follow. We are doing all we can do - our best.
Limit social media and Covid conversation, especially around children
We are in a time of social media and 24/7 news coming at us from all angles that we can feel completely overwhelmed with it all. What we hear in the morning, may very well have changed by the afternoon. Who even knows what to believe anymore? If you are going to follow the news find a couple of trusted sources you can check a couple of times a day at set times for a limited amount of time eg 15 minutes tops, 2-3 times daily. Keep news and alarming conversations out of earshot of children - they see and hear everything and can become very frightened by what they hear.
Notice the good in the world, the helpers
Try to focus on the good. There are loads of community groups emerging to provide practical support, stories of people donating and supporting each other in the smallest of ways but with the biggest of impacts. You can support restaurants, offer to grocery shop or collect prescriptions, dog walk and/or check-in with vulnerable neighbours. By helping others we can help ourselves regain some agency when things seem out of control. Counterbalance the heavy negative news with the positive hopeful news, because it is out there.
Find something you can control and control it
At a time of uncertainty and feeling overwhelmed you can help yourself by finding something in your life to control, no matter how small that something is. It might be to reorganise your bookshelf, clear out your wardrobe, rearrange your furniture, clean your cupboards or tidy the toy box, with the help of your children! Having some control over things will help to anchor and ground you when the bigger things around us are chaotic.
Find a long-term project to focus on
We have been given the gift of time so how will you choose to spend it? You may have always wanted to learn that guitar that has been in the corner of your bedroom for the past 5 years or attempt the 300 piece jigsaw from last Christmas, learn to draw, read the Harry Potter series, or binge-watch an 8 series TV show. Now can be that time to find something to keep you busy, distracted and engaged to take breaks from what is going on in the outside world.
Engage in repetitive movements and left-right movements
Research has shown that repetitive movement (knitting, colouring, painting, clay sculpting, jump roping etc) especially left-right movement (running, drumming, skating, hopping) can be effective at self-soothing and maintaining self-regulation in moments of distress.
Express yourself
Our emotional brain is very receptive to the creative arts and it is a direct portal for the release of feelings. Find something that is creative (sculpting, drawing, dancing, music, singing, playing) and really go for it. See if you feel that sense of relief. This is also a very effective way of helping children to emote and communicate as well and can be fun for all the household to take part in as a group activity.
Find lightness and humour in every day
I admit, there is a lot to be worried about now. But it doesn’t have to all be darkness. Humour and fun still exist and a great way to give Covid-19 the 2-finger salute! Find something that makes you smile or laugh each day: YouTube is a veritable feast of funny videos and creative videos and WhatsApp seems to forever be pinging with memes and gifts designed to make us laugh. Streaming services are showing more films and comedy stand-up shows to lift our spirits. We’re still allowed to laugh every day if we choose to.
“Chunking” and “worry time”
We have no precedent for this, so many of us will feel like we are making it up as we go along. We don’t know what this will look like in 1 day, 1 week or 1 month from now as changes are happening daily. By ‘chunking’ we can help to manage our anxiety around overwhelming issues. Focus on whatever bite-sized piece of a challenge feels manageable - that maybe 5 minutes a day, or even a week at a time. You will know what feels doable. Take one chunk at a time and move through stress in pieces. If you’re finding yourself worrying throughout the day allocate yourself a set amount of ‘worry time’ in which you allow your mind to wander and worry if that is what it chooses to do but have a limit, knowing that after say 30 minutes or 1 hour, that worry time is over and you will move on with your day.
This too shall pass
Even if it doesn’t feel like it, this time will pass and quarantine will end. Take the time to remind yourself and those around you, it isn’t forever. There will come a time when we will return to feeling free, safe and busy, anticipating and connected to the days and weeks ahead. Dare I say, looking forward to the future again.
Reflect on a lesson
This time of Covid-19 will likely seem sad, frightening, possibly even avoidable. At a time of trauma, a key feature to help someone work through it is to help them find their agency, what potential positive outcomes can they affect? What meaning and growth can come out of destruction? Whether something big or small, is there a lesson we can each take from this crisis? Is there anything we need or want to change in ourselves? Our home? Our work? Our communities?
Reach out for help
If you have a therapist or psychiatrist, they are still available to you just at a distance. Continue with your medications and therapy sessions as best you can. If you realise you are having difficulty coping for the first time, seek help. Mental health services are doing their best to adapt and respond to the changing needs of society. Teachers and related service providers will try to help, especially for those parents who are having to suddenly be the entire treatment team to their SEN children. Reach out to fellow homeschoolers, parents and neighbours to feel connected.
Remember, you are not alone
We are all experiencing this ‘new normal’. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. If you don’t want to, then don’t write your autobiography or learn 3 new languages. You’re not in competition with anyone else. There is help and support available to you. Even though we are physically distant we are virtually connected.
About Sarah:
Having experienced her own struggles in life, Sarah retrained and is a qualified integrative counsellor (MNCS) Acc based in South West London. She works with her clients face to face, via Zoom and/or over the telephone, to achieve their professional or personal goals in a collaborative, confidential, safe and empathetic space. Sarah creates a space where clients can talk freely as she actively listens to what is concerning you in life. As an integrative counsellor, she draws on a variety of methods to bring awareness and understanding to your thoughts, feelings and emotions, working towards acceptance and a healthier sense of well-being.
Issues clients being include but are not exclusive to, stress and anxiety, depression, grief and loss, relationship issues, goal achievement, anger, self-defeating behaviours, physical, domestic, psychological abuse and guilt and shame. Sessions can be a one-off, short or long term. Whatever it takes to get you to the point you wish to be.
If you feel you may benefit from having an objective, non-judgemental ear to get clarity and make real-life progress then please contact Sarah for further information here.
